Post by Mandalorians on Oct 13, 2009 18:54:03 GMT -5
"The SFL will not rest until these vandals are brought to justice, and when the guilty parties are found, they will be banned for life from all SFL facilities, including the HOF." league spokesman Robert Terwilliger said, reading from a prepared statement at the SFL Hall of Fame.
Early Tuesday morning, unknown vandals entered the HOF through a carelessly unlocked service entrance and vandalized HOF enshrinee Dennis Colby's statue and display, covering the entire display with fresh manure. Testing is currently being conducted to determine if the manure is human or animal in nature.
"This treatment of the hallowed halls of the SFL Hall of Fame will not be tolerated." continued Terwilliger. "As soon as we can figure out the new security system and watch the security tapes, we will prosecute these vile persons to the fullest extent of the law."
The only witness to the incident was Cadaver fan Tyree Russell, who was present in the building after hours for unknown reasons.
"I hid when they closed........er, I mean I stayed after they closed so I could bask in the glory of Dennis Colby's statue. I was starting to burn incense and start my praise of the great specimen of manhood that is Colby, and I was just starting to get that oh so nice feeling in my pants when these nasty men jumped me. I tried to fight 'em off, but there were 5, no, 10, no 20 of 'em and one had such a nice face, I couldn't bring myself to punch him. They overpowered me, and when I woke up, they had defiled the shrine....I mean display to Dennis Colby, and were gone." said Russell, who is known leaguewide as Dennis Colby's self-proclaimed #1 fan.
Early Tuesday morning, unknown vandals entered the HOF through a carelessly unlocked service entrance and vandalized HOF enshrinee Dennis Colby's statue and display, covering the entire display with fresh manure. Testing is currently being conducted to determine if the manure is human or animal in nature.
"This treatment of the hallowed halls of the SFL Hall of Fame will not be tolerated." continued Terwilliger. "As soon as we can figure out the new security system and watch the security tapes, we will prosecute these vile persons to the fullest extent of the law."
The only witness to the incident was Cadaver fan Tyree Russell, who was present in the building after hours for unknown reasons.
"I hid when they closed........er, I mean I stayed after they closed so I could bask in the glory of Dennis Colby's statue. I was starting to burn incense and start my praise of the great specimen of manhood that is Colby, and I was just starting to get that oh so nice feeling in my pants when these nasty men jumped me. I tried to fight 'em off, but there were 5, no, 10, no 20 of 'em and one had such a nice face, I couldn't bring myself to punch him. They overpowered me, and when I woke up, they had defiled the shrine....I mean display to Dennis Colby, and were gone." said Russell, who is known leaguewide as Dennis Colby's self-proclaimed #1 fan.